Question: Why is life so complicated?
Brennan B. (via Twitter)
Answer: First line of your Twitter profile: "Call me BJ." Here lies your problem. The name BJ is reserved for cousins of Dennis the Menace, Peanuts characters, and cheerleaders that ride in the back of the team bus. You should try changing your name to something cool like Axl, Thor, or Lucifer. Life would get a lot easier, trust me. My real name is Maven and there is a woman sucking my dick right now, a Mexican woman cleaning my house, and an Asian guy typing this as I dictate. I rest my case.