Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Question 64

Question: How does cheez-it do it?
Angie H. (via Twitter)

Answer: Some guy went to a party and his girlfriend wouldn't leave him the fuck alone so he could go get some food. He kept trying to pass the bitch off to friends so he could eat but she kept saying stupid shit like "Stay and cuddle with me on the couch" and "I want to dance" and "I'm pregnant with your child." 

Sick of having to deal with her bullshit, he slipped her a date rape drug and laid her quietly in the rose bushes. He would have left her on the couch but she shit her pants. Finally free to mingle with the munchies, he made his way to the cheese tray only to discover that everyone had ate everything except the fucking Triscuits and the spicy white cheese that tastes like shit.  

Pissed as hell, he drove home. He sold all that bitches belongings and invested all his now-single time into developing a perfect cracker that always had the good cheese taste. He submitted it to Keebler who changed the name from his suggested "Quit taking all the good goddamn crackers, crackers." to "Cheez-it." The rest is history.

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