Friday, September 4, 2009

Question 26

Question: My dog won't quit humping the legs of my guests, what can I do?
Felix Q.

Answer: The solution is not as easy as you may think. Male dogs are naturally hornier than John Wayne Gacy at a Lance Bass house party. Assuming that you don't want to nick nack on his ballsack, then I'm afraid you are going to have to give your dog your bone. The procedure is as follows:
1. Grab a tennis ball and get his attention
2. Pretend to throw the tennis ball
3. When he turns around to run after it, jump on his gullible ass and pin him to the ground.
4. Insert your penis into his anus and ram it home while whispering in his ear "down boy down."
5. Block out the inevitable onslaught of shit that will be pouring out his ass by repeating to yourself over and over, "Its just pumpkin pie. Its just pumpkin pie."
6. Once you are done, look him straight in the eye and say "Next time, I break your legs, take you to the zoo, and throw you in the fucking elephant enclosure."

That should work. It did when my dad did it to me.

1 comment:

  1. haha YEAH!!!! your dad did it to me too. and it worked