Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Question 13

Question:
If you were a hotdog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
Derek M.

Answer: That is the stupidest question I have ever heard. How ridiculous. How preposterous. How utterly retarded. That being said I just spent 45 minutes pondering the answer... and it is a hesitant yes based on the following facts:
1. The type of hotdog I am must be all beef. No turkey dog crap. It's Nathan's or nada.
2. I must taste like a hotdog, not like foot or whatever part I eat first.
3. There can be no one witnessing this cannibal buffet. I don't want this shit on youtube.
4. There must be a bun around me. And stale or sliced bread will not suffice.
5. I must be boiled. Microwaved hotdogs taste like crap. I would rather have a hotdog cooked by a magnifying glass out on my driveway.
That criteria met, hell yeah. I'd slap some slaw on me and down it faster than Kirstie Alley.

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